Where Am I Going?

The real Burning Question

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I turn 21 in almost 2 months. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I live with my parents. I don’t go to school. And I’m single. I’ve figured out life pretty well I’d say.

Filed under No I Really Haven't

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Been a while.

So, I got my new phone. It’s pretty bangin’. The new xbox will wait, I know it comes out in November and that like a month away, but I don’t feel a need for it. I have other things in my sight. Mainly a someone. Its great. And the path I took to get here, I never would have seen it coming. But that’s what this is all about isn’t it? Paths you took to get where you are, and the paths you will go down that make up your future. I see what is out there, just how/when/where is the question. But the path, the journey the adventure to get there will be spectacular. I’m super excited about it. And this is the best I’ve felt in a long time. 

Not that anything in my life is better, just my outlook on it is. I still have yet to get a good sleep schedule. Still yet to go to the gym. Still yet to maintain a clean room. I hate cleaning. But I need to. Bad. Oh well. I know it will happen I have other stuff on my mind in the mean time.

Until time… 

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Work makes the world go round.

I just was crunching some numbers, after next week I only need to avg. 17 hours at work to get the new xbox, a new phone, a few games, and my insurance. My life will be complete if that happens. Like you have no idea. Which after that happens, I will be able to save up my money for more important things, like school. But right now, I am content with just working. I rather enjoy my job. No one else there seems, well not on the outside at least, but the way I see it, I have a job, that might actually lead to a career. And I like interacting with people. Even if some of them are weird, strange, or quirky, because most of them are nice people and the few second conversations I have with them brightens up my day. Wow, have I missed people. 

In other news, I’ve decided that I don’t care what anyone may think, I’m happy. She’s awesome, and I was an idiot. Good thing she’s still there.

In other, other news this is the coolest thing ever… 

… i’m such a nerd!

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Well Fuck…

This news is rather disappointing. Like seriously. I mean, on one hand it’s not all bad, but on the other-hand, the fuck are you thinking!? I think this is the first and only time this has happened to me ever. Maybe, I guess you can call it karma, naw I’m pretty sure this is some form of it. Oh well, fuck it, I’m gonna be in a little hole for the next few days. See ya soon.

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So its official! WOOOOOO, well unless I was drugged in the past month and didn’t know it. I should start training sometime next week. I’m super excited. I needed this job, I’ll get to meet people in this area finally! Maybe I’ll feel the need to actually do something with my life when I start instead of sitting inside doing nothing all day. I seriously have hit a rut in my life. But this, this is the start of bettering myself. So YAYYY haha. I’m pathetic. :P

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The Waiting Game

This is the worst game there could be. To not know whether its you or someone else. Waiting for that acceptance letter. Waiting to know whether you are the one that is chosen. Yeah, I’ve been waiting, hoping, wishing, for a while now. A decision should be made soon, I seriously hope that its me. I mean if it’s not, I’ll live with it, but if it is me… man that would be amazing! Hopefully soon I find out, today, tomorrow. I mean even if its a whole week I have to wait, as long as its a yes, you’re in. I’ll be happy!

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Turn, Turn, Turn Around

I feel as if things might be turning around for me. Well, kinda. Life here in GA still sucks. Well everything that is besides the fact that it is Georgia. I still have no job, nowhere seems to be hiring. I decided to take an online class at UofA. And all but like two of my friends that live in Georgia seem to even care that I’m here. I try to make plans with them and I get nothing in return back from them. Its kinda hurtful being as I have only seen like two of them in the past 6 years, but fuck me right? Whatever, I got my bro and thats all that matters. He may be busy all the time but its all good. He’s got everything going for him and I’m proud of him for it. The thing that is going good for me right now though is I have found that connection I’ve been wanting. Naw, not with anyone here, back where I use to live. Its amazing. The only part is that this could have been a thing forever ago, and I probably could have avoided all the BS thats happened in the past year if only I wasn’t suck a dumb ass. Its been in front of me for a very long time and the stupid in me was to cloudy. This was even pointed out to me by someone before, but no like I said, I was stupid.

So yeah, a person I care a lot about is in my life now. Where is she? Only across the damn country. I seriously fucking hate that. However, I really don’t care. I was stupid once, not again. This isn’t slipping by me twice.

I don’t know why I felt to add this, just I need to get it somewhere. I don’t really have a go to person whom I can talk to about it so I came here. Sorry to trouble you with my life. It’ll happen again. :) In the mean time Wub, Wub, Wub.

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Played some softball today with my dads squadron today. It was awesome! I seriously need to do that more often. I miss playing sports. That was my one relaxer I had. What I really need to do is swim. Like lap swim. That would be the tits. I loved swimming, just you and the water. Serenity. Thats kind of what it was like today. Nothing else mattered, not school, not work (finding one that is), not money, not life. It was me and the people on the field. 

Maybe this was the leap I needed to going back to the gym. Because tomorrow I am gonna want to do something physically active so I’ll go to the gym and actually start getting back in shape. Lifting. I need that. Get out of the house. Maybe meet people while I’m there. Hopefully its not a bunch of old dudes. That would suck.

In other news. I hate how life works. What are those lyrics? ‘Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone. They paved paradise, and put up a parking lot.’ Yeah I have that feeling right now, and it sucks. well its good, but it sucks. Why couldn’t I see it before? I’m an idiot.